New Product: Fangtastik® “True Blood” Stain Remover Sucks Blood Off Fabrics

Fangtastik Stain Fighter for True Blood Vampire Strength Detergent for Snookie Stackhouse

Thanks to Fangtastik® Sookie Stackhouse no longer worries about replacing her blood soaked clothes on a waitress’s salary. With the stain fighting powers in Fangtastik®, garments can last an eternity instead of succumbing to set-in blood stains. Fangtastik® with Vampire Power sucks blood off fabrics and brings clothes back to life.

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Fangtastik true blood stain remover sookie stackhouse anna paquin vampires HBOFangtastik True Blood Stain Remover Eric Northman Viking Vampire Alexander Skarsgård

Look for ways to win free Fangtastik® during “True Blood” episodes on HBO on Sunday nights.

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For the Multi-Tasker: Yoga While You’re Sleeping

Yoga Poses Corpse Pose Savasana Mountain Pose Tadasana

Illustration by Yael Abramowitz

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How Hard is It to Find Obnoxious Hipster Photos? Pretty Hard, if You’re ‘Hipster Yoga’

Hipster Yoga Reverse Warrior Pose Look at the Fucking Hipster LATFH photo rip off

Don’t those pictures on Hipster Yoga look familiar? It’s like you’ve seen those chain-smoking, PBR guzzlers with the tattoos and facial hair before. And you have, but that guy in “Mountain Pose” with the mustache wasn’t on the L Train or in your yoga class (hipsters don’t exercise).  He’s actually Look at the Fucking Hipster‘s featured douchebag from more than a year ago. The “Bird of Paradise” sporting the fur coat is from LATFH‘s April 22, 2009 post. While the explanations of modified asanas are funnier than any caption on LATFHHipster Yoga‘s attempt to pass the shots off as their own – affixing its own watermark on images ripped from LATFH‘s user generated gallery – makes them the ultimate poseur.

LATFH Look At the Fucking Hipster Hipster Yoga Reverse Warrior Look at that Fucking Hipster Hipster Yoga Reverse Warrior Pose copyright pictures

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Fasting Yogi Astounds Scientists, Becomes Role Model to Anorexics

Yogi Prahlad Jani no food or water 70 years fasting yogi starving Indian yogi

82-year-old yogi Prahlad Jani claims he hasn’t had a sip of water or a morsel of food since he was blessed by a goddess and given special powers as a child. Can this be true? A team of doctors and researchers at India’s Defense Institute of Physiology and Allied Sciences held a press conference last week to announce the conclusion of their 15 day investigation on Indian holy man.

Doctors found no evidence that Jani ate or drank anything and they found no adverse effects in his body from hunger or dehydration. They think that yoga exercises may have caused Jani’s body to undergo a biological transformation. The researchers said tests found that his brain is equivalent to that of a 25-year-old. – Epoch Times

“If Jani does not derive energy from food and water, he must be doing that from energy sources around him, sunlight being one,” said, neurologist Sudhir Shah. “As medical practitioners we cannot shut our eyes to possibilities, to a source of energy other than calories.”

Anorexics around the globe are eagerly awaiting further results on DNA, enzyme and gene analysis.  Jani’s claims has given people who starve themselves hope that life without food and water is possible. More importantly there’s no longer a need for Kate Moss (“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”) as Jani becomes a healthy role model or anorexics. Now how do you go about getting this blessing?

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Pour Some Sugar On Me: What Sweetens Your Pot?

Sugar Substitute Sweet 'n Low Splenda Equal Sun Crystals Stevia Truvia Def Leopard "Pour Some Sugar on Me"

This Mother’s Day, I turned into my grandmother. Instead of stealing Sweet ‘n Low from the Kings Plaza Diner, I shoved packets of Sun Crystals into my yoga bag. As I absconded the green packets of all-natural sweetener from the coffee counter at my yoga studio, I thought about my recently deceased Grandma. If she was still alive would her sticky fingers swipe the stevia and sugar cane mixture and leave the little pink packets of granulated Saccharin, dextrose and cream of tartar behind?  My thoughts returned to sweeteners at dinner (life is good when this is what you think about) when I watched my mother make off with several Splenda packages from the Chinese restaurant. Besides the fact that I clearly come from a family of sugar-substitute thieves, what did our choices say about us? Does selecting an all-natural sweetener over an artificial one reveal anything about your personality? Take the sweetener quiz and find out.

What kind of sweetener are you personality quiz equal, splenda, truvia, sun crystals, sweet 'n low, sugar

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Happy Star Wars Day: Yoga Edition

Imperial Stormtrooper Star Wars May 4th Stormtropper Yoga Star Wars Yoga Eka Pada Koundiyanasana IMay the Fourth Be With You!!

Click for Yoga with Yoda

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Yoga Anytime, Anywhere: Watching Treme

Yoga Anywhere, Anytime: Agnistambhasana Fire Log PoseIllustration by Yael Abramowitz

The best way to enjoy David Simon’s Treme is to get off the couch and do some hip openers. Stretch your hips and groins in Agnistambhasana and let go of your Sunday night stress (my yoga teacher always says “they aren’t child bearing hips they are stress bearing hips). Feel tension building from watching the recreated tough times in post-Katrina New Orleans? Then go deeper into the pose by folding forward on the exhale. Don’t round your back as you place the popcorn bowl in front of your stacked shins and remember to press through your heels and spread your toes. When you are done with both sides you’ll be ready to swing to that New Orleans music.

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